Sometimes it didn't make sense....

[thefluffyhotchner]

How...one minute you could be in the fight for your very life alongside your husband then in a heartbeat in some empty...never-ending....darkness...

How...in the blink of an eye you're wandering said darkness alone. Lost. Trying to find even a SLIVER of light. Of hope. Terrified inside that you won't ever see the man whom you've loved and worshipped for so long -the one that had finally admitted to himself and everyone else over the last few months that he'd felt the same way- ...again.

How...for 10 years you wandered. Cold and afraid. Never hungry or tired. The fear wasn't of the darkness but of the fact of never seeing your husband one more time.

How...one brief flash of that searched-for light and you were back. Alive. Breathing. Looking into the eyes of that man.

The man that was in your every heartbeat,your every thought, your every breath. The man that was with you in spirit the entire time you spent in that forbidding time. The only one that helped you through it. The only reason you fought so desperately to come back.

The man you fell into his arms and cried for hours. The man that only held you. Stroked your hair. Kissed your foreheaad and told you that it was going to be all right now.


The man that I love with all my heart and soul and now he holds both.

Aaron James Hotchner

Comments

[baufatherfigure]

Which is EXACTLY what Aaron did.

God. Coming out of that darkness and finding that light and suddenly... suddenly, he was holding Spencer William Hotchner in his arms and desperately burying his face into his neck. Inhaling his scent and- silly as it sounded- making sure he was real. He wasn't some illusion or something crazy like that. Making sure he wasn't going batshit and whispering, "Spence. Spencer, oh my god... oh god..."

After ten long fucking years of searching, fighting, almost giving in, and searching some more- Aaron Hotchner had found him. He'd found Spencer- the light of his life. The light to his darkness. His husband.

"S-Spence..."

[thefluffyhotchner]

A quiet groan.

Then suddenly as if someone hit him hard in the gut, he jerked awake, drawing a deep breath as if he'd been underwater for too long and then was coughing and his heart beat wildly as he was clinging desperately to his husband. Brown eyes studying the man holding him and...

Hs eyes narrowed as he had to adjust to the light and he looked around wildly before hugging Aaron tight and close.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell...A-Aaron..." One hand brought around to trace against the man's bearded cheek with fingertips light as anything. "Where...what the hell hhappened?? Where was I?"

[baufatherfigure]

"You died," Aaron whispered, almost not believing it himself. His hand traced Spencer's cheek quietly as well and kissed his cheek before pulling him close again. Tight against his chest, unaware that tears were already rolling down his cheek. "Spencer, I saw it. Moonlight killed you with his own eyes, and then... then you just..." He choked up. "...he was dead. I killed Moonlight. And then I don't know what the fuck happened, but I know I... I felt it. I felt the darkness, and I couldn't find you, and I went looking for you and... dear god..."

He looked around briefly, mind grasping at straws before he shook his head. "I t-think we were in the darkness. Together. But I couldn't find you until now. Until I s-saw a light..."

[thefluffyhotchner]

He didn't care what'd happened any more. All he cared about was that he was WITH his husband and they were together and this was how they were gonna stay.

No more darkness.

No more fear.

He sighed softly, nuzzling at the -EEE!- and a brush of lips to his chin. "The light...I heard you...I...I didn't...I was afraid to go there because I didn't know what it meant and I've..." He just closed his eyes. Ok so let's call him Fluffy for the kitty aspect. This boy's been dead twice and come back twice.

No one else could say that.

"Just....hold me." Curling closer into his arms fully intent on staying there for quite some times until it was proven this wasn't just another hideous trick by whatever demon had been chasing him.

[baufatherfigure]

And that was when Aaron held him best he could. Hands slipping through the young man's hair and closing his eyes before resting his head on his shoulder. Keeping him close as anything and another kiss to his ear before a whisper again. "I'm right here. I'm not letting go. I'm not going anywhere, my love. I swear to you that much." And he wasn't. He'd have to be ripped away from his lover before he left Spencer there in that house.

[thefluffyhotchner]

It took a few minutes to make sure that this was real. But the trembling stopped and he felt a bit better....but he stll didn't let go.

There would be a quiet mumble. "Wh-where are we?"

Ooooooooooor did he not wanna kow?

[baufatherfigure]

"There was a hard swallow as he looked around and took a deep breath. His hands held him close as anything still, trying hard to stop his own shaking now. "I-I think we're back on the beach house. But I don't hear Dave or Dash or Jack or... or anyone." He looked down at him, stroking his hair and biting his lip. "I remember hearing J-Jack scream, but... that's it... then darkness. A lot of pain, agony, anger..."

[thefluffyhotchner]

"Jack....s-screamed....."

He couldn't remember it. A frown freased his brown and he shook his hand and took a look around. "Wh-where could they...what the hell..." He wanted to see what the hell was going on but he didn't want to leave Aaron at all. IT did look like the island...but...and a look up at him.

"I wonder what....day it is...." That'd explain a lot.

[baufatherfigure]

"Let's take this o-one step at a time." The realization that he wasn't in darkness was still dawning on him. He didn't want to leave Spencer at all either. Not now. Not when he had just gotten him back. "M-Maybe we can turn on the news for the date or something. For now, let's just..." Slowly, the man tugged on his lover's arm. "Let's get a look around. A good look around together."

Oh gods above. Aaron was clingy as hell suddenly. He didn't want Spencer to leave his side. Sure, he was strong as anything, but- he had to be sure this wasn't a dream. Had to be sure period.

[thefluffyhotchner]

Spencer wrapped both arms around Aaron's one as he followed along as they inspected the empty house. All of the utilities were still on but that's because the generator was still running. There was still fresh water from the well. It was as if nothing had changed but...

"This reminds me of the Langoliers. When those people on that plane were between times. Not the past not the future. It's...weird." he said quietly as they walked along.

Now to be honest, he was afraid to turn on the TV for fear there'd be nothing on. That wouldn't be good. A look up at Aaron and blinging tighter and closer.

"I...I'm...I just want to...go upstairs. Please?" Go somewhere recognizable. Sure the house was that...but there was something strange here and....well Fluffy didn't like it nor trust it.

He headed for the stairs, whimpering softly.

"Please?"

[baufatherfigure]

"Then let's go." Gentle as anything, but there was that hint of fear. That hint of the unknown frightening him as he nodded and followed Spencer to the bedroom. Another deep breath as he began to slowly ascend the stairs and kept his husband close to him.

It was eeriely quiet in that house on the island, and honestly, Aaron was damn tired of the quiet. Just to relieve the air and listen to the sound of his own voice, he began to speak. Tenative at first. "I c-couldn't find you... until right now. Until I... until I had you in my arms. I thought I did once or twice, and... and it was an illusion. I was scared. More scared now than I ever was fighting Moonlight..."

[thefluffyhotchner]

He looked at him, listening and a nod.

"I know what you feel like. There was a time I thought I'd found you. It turned out to not be but it was Moonlight. Needless to say I got away from him but...it was scary. We...we're gonna need to work on that." Trying to force a small smile at him.

"But I like the damn....er...." but yeah he reached up and traced fingertips against his cheek.

"What if...what if we're...what if they got away or came back first and....and got everyone else?" He didn't want to think of that but...yeah. It was gonna give him nightmares if he didn't talk about it.

[baufatherfigure]

Aaron closed his eyes and shook his head at the idea. "No. No, I refuse to... fucking believe that. That Moonlight would come around or come back for the sole purpose of... of doing that. He has to have a different reason, love. Has to. But let's not worry about that right now, okay?" A gentle kiss on the lips and pulling him to his body once again at the top of the stairs. "They're alive. All of them. I can feel it right now. Jack. Dash. Dave. All alive. I promise."